“She had always wanted words, she loved them; grew up on them. Words gave her clarity, brought reason, shape.” ― Michael Ondaatje, The English Patient
“What does the author look like?” asks the little boy at Read Aloud time.
I assume the role of ‘the author,’ stand up, and wave at him with a smile before sitting down.
It is much easier for me to write that I have published a children’s book. But to tell others is something else.
At the library, I am the mother of the 2 children who like to play Tag at Check out. Those 2 children who choose to find something funny and erupt in laughter interrupting the studious and revered silence with punctuated giggles.
Telling librarians or people in real life about my book is challenging for me. Like my character Lailah, I find it hard to get the words out.
But through writing, I find ease, solace, and comfort. It is easier for me to be ‘poised’ in writing. To use the Backspace Button when needed. To edit. But to be poised in real life with words is harder.
Words — You can…
- Release them
- Watch them float away, weightless.
- Modulate them – Hold on to them like Sugar
- Share only a baby spoonful at a time
- Or … Don’t share them at all
- Be stingy with them
Words can be …
- Heavy and once released change the air around you.
- Mixed and Stirred
- Evoke Memories
- Erase Dreams
- Build Dreams
I would love to be more poised in real life, to not regret saying so much, or to regret saying so little at times. I always admire those who hold onto their words and when they release their words, their words are listened to, heard, and respected. Their words have a reassuring Weight. Importance.
I’ll attempt poise in real life. But for now, writing will do…
Say, “If the sea were ink for [writing] the words of my Lord, the sea would be exhausted before the words of my Lord were exhausted, even if We brought the like of it as a supplement” – Quran 18:109
You are absolutely write! I was so happy to read your post as I have exactly the same challenge. I love writing and find utmost joy in harnessing my intellectually energy into written words. However when I converse, I find my self second guessing my choice of words. I beat myself up! I think part of it is that the topics we might address in writing are sometimes far removed from topics that arise in daily life. We kind of become prisoners to our own written words which may be very eloquent on paper but not in a casual conversation. Again… Loved your post! Jazak Allah kheiran and best of luck on your new published book:)
Thanks! Yes we do best ourselves up!! I think with writing it is much easier to have control over our words right?:)
Thanks for your kind words and hope you keep reading and commenting!:)
Reem! My daughter gifted me the WordPress blog on my birthday! I have no idea how to use it yet. I find my writing too theme focused to be shared through a blog but would love your input if I can share with you via email. I would love to share with you my last one-almost done- about my insights on overcoming strict routines as mothers . Thank you.
I just read this! yes feel free to email me!