I was watching TLC’s reality show, American Muslim, and I really felt for the Muslim lady who after a few years of marriage is still having trouble conceiving. She said that there are days when she just wants to stay in bed and cry, but she keeps going.
For those of us who have babies, it can be easy to flaunt them, both intentionally and unintentionally. We might knowingly or unknowingly hurt those ladies who desperately want to have one of their own. If I know you and unintentionally have hurt you, sorry.
In life, we are so used to working for things and getting what we want. We see results immediately. Photos that had to be developed manually can now be seen digitally in a matter of seconds. Letters that used to have to be mailed can now be emailed with a click of a button. We are so used to living in an instant-results-world, that we assume that when we want children, it will be instant. This is not always the case. For the lady who can’t conceive immediately means having a lot of patience and realizing that we aren’t in control of everything, like we thought we were.
This lady took a look at her life and made small changes. One way was trying to get closer to God and receiving more blessings by wearing a head scarf/hijab. Others might choose other ways to reflect on their lives and get closer to God. This lady kept herself busy and kept living her life. Even though she felt such strong emotions at times, she kept on moving.
For those of us who have children, we need to enjoy them and be thankful for them. It can be easy to complain about your kid. I know a friend of mine was in a setting where everyone was complaining about their kids, when one of them burst into tears saying that she didn’t have kids and to Please Stop Complaining.
We need to be so grateful for the gifts that we have in life (i.e. good health, kids, jobs) and pray for those that are lacking what they want. And support them. And be there for them.
Rather than stressing over what milestone our baby has not reached, or how much they drain you, we need to pause and enjoy the touches of baby in our life.
“And it is not your wealth or your children that bring you nearer to Us in position, but it is [by being] one who has believed and done righteousness. For them there will be the double reward for what they did, and they will be in the upper chambers [of Paradise], safe [and secure]” (Quran 34: 37)“Wealth and children are [but] adornment of the worldly life. But the enduring good deeds are better to your Lord for reward and better for [one’s] hope” (Quran 18:46).