A Change in Gears

“I fold the drab maternity pants with the frayed elastic waistband and place them back in the box. Then I put the box away – for now.” – Carol Kort.

When I read the quote above, I have mixed feelings. I do like that Carol has hope and faith that she will one day get pregnant again and have more children. But then when I think about those who cannot have children, and how off-hand Carol is about the whole thing, I feel bittersweet.

Like Carol, I have pulled out my maternity pants again- I am 6 months pregnant and due at the end of November. I feel grateful and do not have words to really describe the feeling of being pregnant again. This pregnancy is easier than the last – I am home, not working full-time teaching, yet mothering is a full-time job in itself, especially to a 2 year old!

With my first pregnancy, my first trimester was challenging in that I felt nauseous and food tasted weird. I would be very sluggish at the end of the school day and couldn’t wait to rush home and get a nap! This time, when Z naps, I cherish that nap time and make sure to get a nap in. This time, I do not have to be Mrs. Faruqi, do not have to be at school at 7:15 a.m.  and be greeted by hyper 8 year-olds. I am still sluggish in the afternoons, but not nauseous like the first. I did have a few weird days here and there, but for the most part, much easier, and for that, I am thankful. I guess you can’t predict how each pregnancy will be, how many pregnancies one will have, and so on, so it is a blessing to be where I am now.

On top of that, I am expecting a girl, a sister for Z. I have 3 brothers;  my husband has 2 brothers. I assumed when I would become a mother, I too would have boys. Well, not the case as this is girl #2! My brother too must have gotten the girl genes and he also has 2 girls. My husband’s brother and his wife just had a baby girl too. So Z has 3 girl cousins at the moment! In my mother’s words, there is a ‘glory of girls.’ A glory of hairbows, a glory of tutus, a glory of pink!

I love being pregnant. I love the miraculous feeling of baby movements in my belly. I love getting a baby bump. I love witnessing the changes during the 9 months. I find it much easier being pregnant and caring for my baby, than actually having the baby and caring for it. Right now, it is easier to grocery shop, easier to travel, easier to eat food, easier to care for Z. Right now my baby is automatically cared for. Whatever I eat, baby gets (usually spicy food!). Wherever I go, baby goes (no car seat necessary – just belly!). Once this baby is born, it will be as if there is a change in gears and I will manually need to feed the baby, transport the baby.

Hoping and praying my next 3 months go well. Unlike Carol, I have bought new maternity pants, for my old ones were ugly. Who says maternity pants have to be drab?

He creates you in the wombs of your mothers, creation after creation, within three darknesses. That is God, your Lord; to Him belongs dominion. There is no deity except Him, so how are you averted? (Quran 39:06).