Rainbows and Butterflies and the lack of them

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“Sometimes I think that there’s a fine line between impressionistic and messy.” ~ Lady Gaga.

I remember  when teaching I learned that most teachers left the profession within their first 5 years – there’s a high turnaround rate for teachers. Teaching can be a stressful job, especially when you are given some challenging students. I remember after my students had all been dismissed, I was able to sit for a few minutes and enjoy the peace and quiet. Not all the teachers got this peace and quiet though. I remember teachers across the hall whose children would bounce through the hallway to visit them and go home with them. I was always in awe and admiration of these teachers as they seamlessly made the transition from teacher to mother. Yes, they didn’t get those few minutes of alone time that I got. (I left my job when I had Z so I am one of the statistics of a teacher who left, but that doesn’t mean I will not go back one day in the future if I feel like the time is right.) I remembered the way these teachers, who were also parents, lit up when they saw their children. Yes, they lit up when they were around their students, but around their children, their voices softened and they relaxed a little into their mother role. It was interesting to see tough teachers soften a little around their children.

I now can only imagine the challenges these teacher-moms faced. I love children, yes. But motherhood is challenging. It’s not rainbows and butterflies. Plus rainbows are temporary, and butterflies live only a few days. There are moments when you look around and you realize you will never get it all done. There will always be dirty laundry, unwashed sippy cups, crumbs on the floor, scattered toys and more. There will be the inevitable moments of the combination of a whiny tantrummy toddler and a crying baby. It is easy to get burned out the same way one can get teacher burnout. But one of the reasons I blog is to try to scour for those temporary-rainbow-butterfly-moments if you will. Because they’re in my day somewhere.

Disclaimer of the photos below: I’m not the neatest person, but that doesn’t mean I’m always messy. Below’s mess is taken at the height of mess when Z fell sick a couple weeks ago and I did not have time to clean. Also, if you wait to take photos because your house is messy, you will miss crucial moments, and in my case that will never happen. One of my favorite photos of mine as a child is one of my little brother and I playing oblivious to the mess of toys around us. You’re helping your child when you take photos of a messy home ~ at least they won’t feel the need to have a perfectly clean home when they parent one day. Also I feel better when seeing other people’s mess!

Amidst all my mess of …

unwashed sippy cups..

IMG_1848crumbs on the floor…IMG_2133dishes that need loading…IMG_2135clutter…IMG_2138doll accessories…IMG_2141smudgy fingerprints…and Z’s uncapped markers that drive me crazy..IMG_2140forlorn and forgotten veggie fries…Amidst all the mess are some beautiful moments.IMG_2298toddler feet trying to reach…IMG_2277newly discovered hands…IMG_2328-2curious toddler eyes…
IMG_2325 impulsive feet kisses..IMG_2323-2 IMG_2310feet that test out new textures..IMG_2275and a still fascination with hands…

IMG_2388and Z learning how to share with baby A!

Baby A is cooing and starting to interact a little with Z, and Z has finally learned to be a little gentler. She almost threw a doll at Baby A’s head today, but it is mostly rewarding seeing them interact in a new, ‘sisterly’ way!

I hope the end of the post photos made up for all the mess in the beginning. After posting all the magical moments, it makes up for the mess. On the bright side this mess was from last week so at least it’s not like that today!

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