“I want to thank you for working on marriage for ten Christmases. It’s good, it is work, but it’s the best kind of work, and there’s no one I’d rather work with” ~ Ben Affleck to Jennifer Garner in his Oscar Speech.
The clothes that I have been prepping for the last few days are strewn on the floor like crumpled butterflies. The clothes that were unwrapped so carefully, ironed so delicately, and hung up proudly are now forgotten. Little gharara legs are askew, and curly dupattas lie on the floor stiffly, no longer draping little bodies. My brother got married this weekend. And with that came so much excitement, dressing up, and of course prayers. Now with a wedding over, one can go back to their routine, settle back comfortably. No need to prep outfits and constantly look at the clock to make sure to be on time for important events. No need to coax tired features into lively ones via luminous gold eyeshadow and winged eyeliner. Now I can’t help struggling to find my old routines back, to figure out what I did before this week, to wonder how I did it without all the hustle and bustle, and all the cousins nearby.
A quote that stuck with me was that we prepare so much for the wedding day, and so little for the marriage. When you’re getting married, it’s so easy to get wrapped up in all the itty bitty details from center pieces to wedding favors to wedding colors to guest lists, and then when it’s all over, you can only hope that you are prepared for marriage.But I guess you can’t really prepare unless you experience it, sort of like teaching a classroom. You can study classroom management, but unless you have a class of live students in front of you, only then can you implement. Or you can’t really prepare for motherhood or parenting, unless you have the live baby in front of you waking you up every few hours of the night. Or that you can’t really prepare for labor, unless you really experience the pangs of pain.
Perhaps that’s when prayer seeps in, a fervent prayer, a noble intention, to do the best that you can do, and to implement what you know. Upon reading, Miracle On The Hudson: The Survivors of Flight 1549 Tell Their Extraordinary Story , I was struck by something Captain Sully said, that his whole life prepared him for those three minutes of flight after losing power. That his whole life prepared him for those steps he took to land the plane to safety. Similarly, I hope that all our experiences pay off so that when we do embark on life’s milestones, whether we tip toe gracefully onto these stones or hop, skip, or jump onto them, that we may be as prepared as we may be, and do the best that we can.
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought” ~ (Quran 30:21).