Emotions of Eid

The realization hits me the night before Eid and I feel a twinge of guilt.  As the anticipation for Eid seeps in I can’t help feeling a slight feeling of dread followed by the aforementioned twinge of guilt for feeling this dread- getting both girls up and dressed, getting us all seated in the car and getting to the mosque on time for the 8:30 Eid prayer sounds daunting to say the least. Making sure both girls behave amidst many people adds to the daunting-ness of it all. The next day, we barely manage to make it to Eid prayer, but we make it and that is no small success.

The 2 girls have some meltdowns here and there- we are on a sugar high, and I am trying to mother at my mothers house which is a balancing act as I am after all a daughter too. Grandmothers trump mothers.

The day goes well and I realize at the end yes Eid is work, but I do like Eid. I do get nervous with the details of being on time, of packing clothes and schlepping over to my mums to gain the real Eid feeling, but in the end the feeling of dread is blown away like dandelion fluff, and flowers of Family-peace-and-unity grow effortlessly in its place.
I am struck by the care my father has taken to glaze fish just so and how he tends to the meals in the kitchen.
How he takes the time to read a book to one of the four granddaughters.

How my mother gives free much needed naps to parents of young children, free baths to the little ones, and free homemade buryani on our way out the door.

How this Eid I have gained 2 new family members – new wives of a younger brother and cousin –  and how they blend into our family seamlessly and how it is as if I have always had these sisters in my life.

How we visit my cousin and his new wife and new apartment and enjoy tea on their carpeted floor and cushions and know that these memories sans furniture will be the best ever.

How grateful I am for family to entertain, bathe, and feed  my children but most importantly how they nurture. How good
things take effort, how bedtimes will be stretched, and too many cookies eaten, but at the end of it all I am so Thankful. Thankful for it all.

“And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor] … ” (Quran 14:7).